It has been our experience that the siblings of special needs students sometimes find themselves in difficult situations. Because of family pressures and concerns around the exceptional student there is a tendency to devote more time and effort with these issues than to the concerns of the sibling(s). If this occurs siblings may sometimes experience unpleasant feelings such as resentment around extra time and attention given to the young person with extra needs. This doesn't always happen but it is difficult to deal with when it occurs. PAS can help through counseling or by providing sibling groups where concerns can be discussed.

As well, in some instances parents may make extra demands on their children by expecting them to help out their own needy sibling in the family. No matter how functional and healthy the family may be, siblings will often have emotional feelings about the effects this situation has on them.

As a sibling in the family you should expect that your parents keep you informed about your brother's or sister's situation and provide opportunities for you to participate in planning programs for them. PAS can help to ensure that this happens by alerting the parents of its importance and helping you as the sibling to learn effective ways to advocate for your own needs in the family. It may be too easy to play down or deny the presence of some of these feelings because we may be uncomfortable about having them but they are perfectly natural if they occur. We can also help by informing you about the nature of their disability and how you can be of help.

Some of the topics that may be of interest to you as a sibling include issues of:

• pressure to be "perfect"
• feelings of anger and resentment
• a sense of sadness and sometimes feeling "down"
• increased responsibilities at home
• feelings of isolation
• relationship issues with your parents
• your needs for attention
• difficulties in relating to your special needs brother or sister

We help by providing opportunities for ongoing contact. If necessary, you may find it helpful to call us on our pager - PAS ON CALL (416-381-3813) - Monday to Friday, from 9 to 5, in order to receive some help.